Chupke Se Bahar Aajaye - Episode 18

Recap: Shafaq is pregnant, Saira is a bin bulaaye mehmaan in her house, Saqib has no aim in life - except to walk around reassuring Shafaq how much he loves her, and Aunty ki fake attachment pony will one day fall off and give us all peace.

Now that we are all on the same page, here's what happened in this episode...

I don't understand how editors don't catch these obvious errors. Are viewers supposed to be blind? It's like an insult to you and me. #PetPeeve

Oh, hello. Need we remind you what you did to deserve that rawaiyya from Shafaq? Waise, if Aunty is so rich, why doesn't she just ship Saira off to her sister? Jahaan itnay ahsan keeaye hein, wahaan aik aur sahi.

1 - Shafaq is an Amazon queen next to petite Saira.

2 - Isn't her bitchiness towards Saira getting a little out of hand? I mean, fate already served her a big heap of what she deserved. I don't think Shafaq needs to add her two cents. 

Let me doll up and walk around eavesdropping on the family.

I don't get it #DeathStare

Annnnnd then there's poor seedha saadha Saqib. He thinks his wife is nidarr. No pal. She's more like hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-woman-scorned. All this bubbliness is simply revenge against Saira.

Everyone knows insecurity is the number one turn off for men Shafaq. Tsk tsk.

...aik khoobsurat ittefaq...

...which Shafaq gate crashes with her perfectly blow dried hair. No one wakes up looking like this. #ComeOnNow

Woh ya tum? All you've done this entire episode is be the wicked witch of the West to her. 

Saira has a fever - so Aunty thinks she should be a third wheel on a Saqib-Shafaq outting. #What #PakistaniDramaMomLogics

Ghar ki Massi knows Saira should be the last person hanging out with Shafaq and Saqib. Meanwhile, mom is conspiring to throw Saqib and Saira back together again??!!! Wow. And I thought I was bad enough, suspecting Shafaq of putting on a front of a total witch to push Saqib back with Saira. (See - if she's mean and Saqib gets attracted to Saira's masoomiat again, tu he won't have guilt for hooking up with her after Shafaq dies. And Shafaq loves Saqib and she doesn't want him to be lonely. See? Yes? No?...Well, in MY mind it made total sense.)

Shafaq your tumor has taken over the side of your brain that controls logic. Seriously, apna size dekho aur bechari Saira ko dekho. Tumharay kaproon mein teen Saira ki size ki lardkian aa sakti hein. Gees.

Yeh kahaan se marnei wali lag rahi hei? I mean seriously. After a whole episode of Shafaq throwing how much Saqib loves her in Saira's face, I'm unapologetically ready for her to die already. Atleast at her craziest, Saira was entertaining. Shafaq is just annoying. Seriously, Saqib, you could do so much better.

Not much happened in this episode, lots of conversations happened multiple times between the same characters, wearing different clothes. Shafaq's OTT meanness to a miskeen looking Saira has placed me firmly back into the #TeamSaira camp. I wonder if Saqib is destined to forgive Saira...

Saira's worthless sister remains clueless in the Middle East. Sheesh. Did I really have to bring that up to sour this review before signing off? 

Yep. Yep, I did.

So sorry...