Gul-e-Rana -- Last Episode

It took me four days to talk myself into watching the final episode of this drama, just so I could have closure. (While it took Shamsi only four days, i wasn't ready to face this piece of drama doody even after one week. But in the end i forced myself to watch it. You know what they say about ripping off a bandaid. Yeah i didn't do that. I watched it in several broken down parts which just increased my self inflicted torture.) Right off the bat, this drama does not (i.e. completely does) disappoint. Please see exhibit A...

I mean - seriously, Rana? What exactly do you expect Adeel to do? Woh bhi broken Adeel. But then the scene gets better...

I am totally judging GeR for not looking horrified and snatching her hand away from Adeels grasp while giving him a how dare you, I hate you and I'm leaving you speech.
And finally, the scene ends with this:

The only way I know that Sajal is feeling anything is thanks to the annoying background music - cos her expressionless face is giving away nothing. And the annoying music tells us that she's sad - WHY? She was the one who told him she's leaving, he's been a bigger jerk to her as a cripple than when he was a womanizing, misogynist, douche. And yet she's getting the fuzzy-feelies?

HE'S STILL ALIVE? I thought the unresponsiveness on the bus was like a done deal.
Yeah they saved all the annoying people till the end. 

Rana takes Adeel for a walk and Sajal Ali proves that the writers failed to make Rana beleiveable at all. One second she's starting off into space with wonder and grabbing on to Adeel with excitement (?) and the next she can't seem to handle a little water splash from her husband.

Yup. Looking like a hobo, Adeel office jaanay lagay hein. Maybe his dad demoted him after the Maria incident (remember that three episode saga??) to filling clerk. Or office show peice. 

As if Adeel and Rana weren't stressful enough to figure out (seriously, giving her a packet of money to undo all the mental abuse?), we have to watch these two: the cousin who refuses to die and the mother who refuses to make sense. Someone please ask Rubina Ashraf why she allowed herself to sign on to this project. 

Not sure what's the biggest issue here:

1 - Asher Bhai is STILL getting married? (Rana seems to think so)

2 - Rana is shopping for the wedding, because Murree is known for its malls and bazaars...

3 - Rana making more expressionless-expressions at Adeel acting like a normal human being. 

Asher Bhai, try not to die on Taya Abu's sofa. 

Lucky us - 26 minutes before the drama ends, Adeel manages to finally learn to respect his naukar. 

Oh look, one of Adeel's ex-skanks gets to make an appearance in the final episode too. This entire scene and her dialogue was just one contradiction after another. Did nobody actually read the script?

Really? It's all the phuppos' fault that you were a horrible human being? That's it? That's the big psychological insight as to why Adeel is such a douche? (Please, step aside while a punch my TV screen.)
I actually liked Rana's reasoning in this scene. It's not the wife's job to reform her husband. Especially one who forced her to marry him. So it makes sense why even after Adeel had reformed she wouldn't want to stay with him. Far too many dramas promote the ridiculous scenario where girls eventually forgive and even start to love the men who have ruined their lives for their own selfish motives. 

What is broken-reformed Adeel doing at (what appears to be) the party of the year? 

Men don't do this in real life. (sorry unmarried, dreaming-about-candle-light-dinner friends)

Asher Bhai (with only 12 minutes remaining in the drama) finally has the decency to die (let's not mention the horrible Rana flashback). I don't know who's more shaken at his death, Rana or Adeel?

Putting a hysterical wife on a plane by herself seems like a totally awesome idea. #ResponsibleHusbanding

Three months later, the drama spells out further proof that Adeel has reformed: look! He plays with galli kay bachay now! He gives other douchey husbands talks on how not to be douchey!

The next thing you know...we get a dream sequence...

And then BAM! A final shot of the two - still separated - Adeel and Rana...

Rana delivers the most obnoxious rendition of Jack and Jill. And then cries for reasons only known to the writer. 

I guess I'd cry too if I had worked in such a crappy drama.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

I need a minute. (Or maybe a lifetime...?)

Where this should've been a simple love story about how the simple girl forced into marriage to a supposed douche and then helps him see the error of his ways and they live happily ever after, it turns into an un-understandable nightmare. They show Adeel as being a guy that's SO horrible, SO abusive, SO womanizing, that even after he barely survives his accident, he fails to convince us (well, primarily that he's hurt at all #BadActing) how he finally reforms. The other big issue, is that because he is SO bad, it made it impossible to create even a chance that Rana would forgive him. 

Let's look at it numerically: 18 episodes to establish he's a Jerkface. 2 episodes to leave him crippled. 1 episode (or maybe 3/4 of one because they had to show Asher Bhai dying for about a quarter of the episode) to try to reform him. Come on. That's absurd. 

To add insult to injury, Adeel dumps the blame on the phuppos and that's that. And where are the said phuppos in the final few episodes? And how about their progeny? Where is Adeel's dad? His mom? Where is Rana's khala, as her son lays dying? What was the point of all this extended family? They really contributed nothing to the story, besides providing incomplete storylines to extend the drama for a few episodes.
Halfway through the episode I had to stop and watch Tahir Shah's new video. Which made me realise that even Tahir Shah emotes better than all the actors in this episode. Which is why I'm leaving you with this. 

RIP Gul E Rana. You will not be missed. 

Gul-e-Rana -- Episode 20

What episode are we on? Second last. And dear lord why is this drama not over already? Because cruel and unusual punishment is still legal in Pakistan. Humph. 

This lady doesn't want the most boring character in this Drama to die while I'm all like...

This episode we're subjected to more constipated looks from Adeel which are supposed to pass as his petulant boy look as well as remorseful, recovering douchey look.

I'm just concerned why Adeel is trying to strangle himself with that scarf. And why is Rana doing the laundry? Itnay ameer hein, phir bhi Rana is acting like a Masi. Maria doesn't know how lucky she is that she escaped nuptials to this douche. 

Sajal just seems to be going through the motions (pun not intended) so we get more clueless doe eyed stares from gul e rana. Hello Sajal...Bambi called, he wants his signature look back. 

The spoilt man child has broken various limbs in the accident magar dard Unko sur mai hota hai. Aisay sar koun dabata hei? It's like she's pinching the skin off his forehead. (Ummm - what?! Haha) Did anyone else notice the romantic music that played when he asks her to dabado his sar? It's like sar dabanai se in dono mein miraculously pyar ho jaaye ga. Normal dramas, the guy woos the girl with flowers and gifts. GuleRana, the guy woos the girl by turning her into his personal slave. 

Random guy shows up to meet Adeel. Apparently he's visited Rana often with his sister. Major creepy vibes. Shamsi why haven't you mentioned creepy neighbour in your previous updates? Cos he just started to put in all these forced-flirtatious entries in the last three episodes. So creepy neighbour guy makes not so subtle hints to Adeel that he would marry Gul-e-Rana in a hot second if Adeel would oblige and drop dead soon. More constipated glare offs between Douchey and Creepy. 

#Pathetic. HumTV should be ashamed of themselves. 

Am I supposed to feel for Adeel now? Why? Yeh kaisi Mohabbat hei? Kia deemagh kharab ho gaya hei? I'm just supposed to forget all the verbal abuse and womanizing and sympathize with this douche because he's handicapped now? I think maybe the accident has caused amnesia and he's forgotten the last 19 episodes. 

Douchey, feels a bit miserable after Rana leaves him to enjoy his pity party all day long and decides to apologise. 

Ho-ly CRAP. Did that just happen?? DID THAT JUST HAPPEN? After weeks of bakwas, we finally get ONE scene that makes sense. This scene should've happened ten episodes ago! 

When you eat too many Cheetos, you're legs start turning into Cheetos. #YouAreWhatYouEat

Shortly after candidate number two arrives. 

But it's OK, we know he's not going to cross the finish line. 

While Asher bhai explains his "love" for Rana, Adeel gets more constipation pains. Kounse pains? Looks pretty happy cheery to me. In the end Asher bhai reveals he's going to be knocking on heaven's door real soon.

Because that's what bosom buddies do - stay up all night sharing secrets and giggling. And the director couldn't let this scene end without some heavy duty symbolism. 

 Ab samajh ayi Adeel? 

Next morning adeel wakes up to find AKBAR chacha crying over his bed reading the tasbeeh. I thought chalo Lugta hai Asher bhai Raat ko hi chul basay. But no, he wouldn't do that to his beloved Rana.  

I can't believe they're giving Asher such an undignified end. Smh. He dies on the BUS home? Devdas ki tarhaan Rana ki chaukhat pe dum tordh dete bhaiyya. 

Final scene. More 'repenting' by douche-face and ultimatum giving by Rana. My brain hurts too much to try to feel anything for either of these two now. 

Gul E Rana - Episode 15

I woke up this morning to this good news...Seriously - 4th last episode? It's like a countdown to bidding this nonsense good bye.

Anyway, it managed to convince me to go and watch the last two episodes I hadn't bothered watching and isi khushi mein, let me present below the highlights of the latest installment of Gul E Rana...

The weird storyline of Asher Bhai continues. We now have confirmation, thanks to his sister, that he romantically-loves Rana (isn't it strange how confusing love is in Pakostani dramas? Love love, Bhai Wala love, romantic love, platonic love...), but even though he loves her - AND HE'S DYING OF CANCER, he's getting married to someone else. If I really cared, I'd try to understand the logic behind this. But since I don't, I'll just continue to harp about it. 

This wonderful censor moment by the makers of this masterpeice. I totally don't know which airlines this is. *eyeroll*

The moment we find out that mommy can't go to Murre because unki wahaan tabiat kharab ho jati hei because of the lack of oxygen. No. For reals. The writers left out all kinds of details in this drama, but decided to tell us why mommy dearest can't go to take care of McDouchey.

Speaking of the devil...we don't know what's wrong with him, except he has a cast on his arm and foot and he's a bigger baby than ever. Just look at that sick face. I hope he's not holding his breath for an Oscar or something for his performance. Sheesh. 

After everything she's been through, and after everything Taya Abu has learned, once more Rana is being guilted into do this family a favor. I've said it once, and I'll say it again, Taya Abu has extracted more than his fair share from Rana for providing a roof over her family's head. 

And poor Rana runs back to Murree in clothes that engulf her petite frame. Did the drama makers even bother to hire a wardrobe personnel for this drama? Humph. If you want to see Sajal Ali at her best, watch Mera Yaar Mila De.

It's annoying how characters appear and disappear at random in this drama. If Adeel is back, you'd think the leechy Maria and phuppi would come back and start making demands - but nope. That storyline ended without a bang and now no one cares about Adeel and his lies to Maria. 

I feel like the episode could have revolved much better around Adeel and his accident, but we were spared hospital and operation room shots (lucky us. They'd probably have a podiatrist operating on his brain.). Also, the naukar told Taya Abu about Adeel's harkatein last episode when he went to drag Maria home, but they left out half of it because in this episode they repeated everything. Again. And Taya Abu reacted like he heard it the first time. Again. And then he asked Rana to come to take care of Adeel because she's his kanooni wife. Did her nikahnama have a clause that said must perform all nursing duties if needed? If they're so filthy rich, why don't they just hire a nurse? Or helicopter him back to Karachi? But no, making Rana come back to Murree just makes so much more sense. 

From the looks of the next episode promo, it doesn't seem like Adeel is a reformed man after his accident and we have more stupid arguments to look forward to. Really guys, are we waiting for the last 15 minutes of the last episode for Adeel to have a change of heart?