Alvida - Episode 17

To paraphrase Shamsi "what the EFF happens to Pakistani dramas at the halfway point?" We've always prided ourselves over the fact that Pakistani dramas take 30 episodes to show a story compared to Indian standard which can take up to 3 years and still go around in circles.
But suddenly Pakistani dramas can't even handle 30 episodes? It's like 15 episodes... Everything's peachy and sweet... Episode 16 rolls around and all hell breaks loose, and Alvida was no exception. Then, as though episode 16 wasn't bad enough... They had to take the crazy level up a notch in episode 17. Like...wuh?

After walking around the apartment for some time, Haya's big reaction to finding out she's married a Looney toon is...changing her clothes and removing makeup. What happened to all those "help me" flyers she threw out the window?

Haya hears a phone and picks it up. From the trash. What kind of a hiding place is that?

Rameez calls Haya to trash talk - hahaha. Ok. Ok. Sorry. 

Ramirez calls Haya to reinforce she is now his slave and should look forward to having his babies justifying his behavior by playing the, "I'm an orphan" card. Haya is totally #LookingForwardToIt.

oh look who ditched work to come home and make some psycho babies with Haya

In Hadi-land, one peptalk from his pal, and Hadi seems to start dreaming of something like THIS taking place between him and Fareesa...

His doctor friend must be a psychiatrist... A damn good one too.

psst...did you notioce that in between getting a degree and doing humanitarian work in Somalia, Dr Hadi managed to get a degree in Emergency medicine from the Philippines...

Hein? Kounsa Kaam?? All she did was change clothes. Apron pehn ke professional chef duties tu Rameez nei poori ki hein. 

and did you notice the little product placement in the apron

masala Tv...finally pakistani dramas catching up.

All Hadi's come hither eyes in the world aren't able to stop Fareesa from meeting up with her 'friends.'

Check out Hadi wearing Sadi's sweater...seriously, whoever was in a charge of wardrobes should rethink their profession...

How could Fareesa make such a novice mistake? Who the heck sneaks off with their lover in their husband's car WITH HIS DRIVER? Sheesh. 

The jig is up for Sa-Reesa romance. Dr Hadi's brain starts working and he follows Fareesa to her date with Saim. We're treated to another non reaction. Instead of walking up to Sa-Reesa and bashing saims face in for his behooda romance in a park with his wife (where's Maya khan when you need her?) Dr Hadi, good Samaritan extraordinaire walks off in a huff and locks himself away in his room.

Did anyone else pee their pants laughing at this phoney jogger? *Still can't stop laughing*

Fareesa is like the ultimate con-woman. First she marries Hadi for his money. Now she wants to run away with Saim to America. Matlabi aurat. 

Dude - pull yourself together. You didn't even LIKE her...Ok. Ok. Let's be fair, regardless of whatever feelings Hadi has for Haya, you can't say he didn't (eventually) try to work on his relationship with Fareesa. (Admit it Hadi - dil mein tu laddo phoot rahay hoonge. Fareesa se jaan chooti...)

I thought Rameez making snide remarks was punishment - but nope. Apparently he's making kaleji and bheja for Haya. Now THAT'S punishment. Ewwww...

Good to know - Hadi Ji looses his cool and has some ghairat left...(though I still think he should take this out with both hands...)

Tayi proves she's still the foremost contender for Worst Mom Ever by consoling and siding with Fareesa instead of trusting the son born of her loins. 

So Fareesa calls Saim in a panic, and Saim tells her he can't take her to the U.S. Immediately because he isn't settled. Can the real Saim please stand up? Cos the one we've watched in the past few episodes bought Fareesa do lakh ke kapray, dinners and lunches at 'expensive' restaurants, and drives a better car than Hadi. Daal mein kuch kala...?

Since there isn't much to look forward to - Alvida mein - I thought I'd leave you with this yummy quiz...

angry Dr Hadi or Deadbeat Sikander?????

FYI - I had to scroll through numerous Jackson Height episodes to get this Ali Kazmi still, which means I had to relive what a douche Jamshed was and feel all riled about why he got a happy ending. #Grrrrr

oh no you di'unt....

Jackson Heights - Episode 26

So we're finally going to see the end of Jackson heights tonight. Keeping up with tradition i'm a whole week late with this episode update. sigh. Some weeks im running around trying to catch my own tail. Anyway let's get on with it. This is what happened last week.

Bhatti Sahab shows his dying mother a picture of his beloved Salma ji.

So after all the genuine niceness of Bhatti Sahab, I have decided to let him have this small screen time of cheapness....Carrying around a pic of Selma like a teenager...
Laykin Nani ko pasand nahi aaee kia? Cos the next thing you know...

Meanwhile - back in the US - these two lovebirds cuddle...

The romance is interrupted by a phonecall from Jackson Heights ki Gossip Girl, Javed Bhai.

Jamshed acts like a total jerk, pushes away gossip guy and runs away to cry privately.

And when Jamshed learns about his nani's death, he is very heartbroken...unfortunately, I was not - at Jamshed's heartbroken-ness, because he's been an absolute jerk and he had it coming.

And then there was this gem of a scene, with the two leeches caterwauling away at how much they loved nani...and then finally  Bhatti Sahab flings the 18,000 rupee phone in their face that they had money to spend on vs the 5000 it would've took to paint nani's kamra.

Bijamalo - after confronting Jamshed - continues on his task to single handedly deliver the news of nani passing away, and spill every secret he knows. Next on his list Selma. Looks like you owe Bhatti more than you think Selma Ji...Salma ji actually believes the gangsters agreed to leave sikander alone and forgoe their money after some verbal persuasion by Bhatti Sahab.

okay so Javed bhai says it more nicely than that but the gist was the same.

It's wedding day for Wolverine and at the last minute he gets a call from his shady lawyer asking for more money.

The show must go on for Jamshed - unless his shady lawyer calls him. Then he ditches his soon-to-be bride and runs to try to avert a potential disaster.

Unfortunately for him, Rizwan is dafa baazi le gaya. Rizwan out bids Jamshed's rate and the lawyer delivers tape recordings of his shady dealings with Jamshed to Michelle.

Jamshed almost knocks out all of Rizwan's teeth.

Rizwan the superhero saves his lady love michelle

So Michelle finally finds out. But after so many obvious red signs that her character overlooked, I just couldn't work up any empathy for her.

Guess who is still being nice to Bhatti Sahab? YUP. The bhabi from hell. No brownie points for guessing what her motives are.

Once again Aliyah is dishing out good advice which is just flying off the top of Salma ji's head. Also... How does salma manage to make, Bhatti sahab's mom dying, about her and her problems?

After the wolverine almost weds buddhi Aunty fiasco, Michelle locks herself away, refusing to even open the door for Rizwan. 

When she finally does open the door, Rizwan wastes no opportunity to remind Michelle of her stupidity. 

Cathy comes back...errr to tell Selma not to give up Bhatti and how awesome Bhatti Sahab is, and how he gave her the house...

I mean - come on. Now the writer is just stalling...