Bin Roye - Episode 1

Considering this piece of work was deemed so amazing by the HumTV authorities that they made it in to a movie AND a drama, it's only fair that we get to review it too...every meme...one by one...*insert evil laughter*

The drama didn't even start and I found something to complain about: this branding thing that they do to the title slide, so I thought I'd bring it to everyone's attention. Now you can't watch this without thinking of us. You're welcome.

Opening scene... Intense expressions dramatic music and my mother's voice in my head screaming...

Dupattas on the floor, lungis for uniforms. By the way, yeh kahaan ka uniform hei? Lahoolwalakoowat. And the childstar they picked to play Mahira Khan's bachpan...

Bestest cousins ever...? Gimme a break. No self respecting male cousin does this. I feel like I shouldn't even have to write a comment here. Is there anything actually right going on here? (No. No there isn't.)

Seriously episode 1 was us just getting horrified at the child actors.

Also her Ice lolly dripping was making me extra mad. 

This scene makes me greatful I didn't watch the movie on the big screen. Can you imagine seeing this oily face up close and oversized? Oye vey! #MakeupFail

Before and after...*eyeroll* Matlab casting thori si tu believable kartay.


So we see Sanam over hear this big exchange about how she's adopted and then...nothing. No reaction from the kid at all. Are the viewers supposed to just wonder about how much she understood of what she heard or if she continues to happily live her lie of a life cos she doesn't want to give up her cushy life to be real sisters with Saba?
Talking about cushy lives...How many maids does Dadi need to make sheerkhorma???

Old people romance awwww...Puke! I'd totally jump on the chance to romance (the still stunning) Zeba Bakhtiar,  

I really want this to be a thing... Where people decorate their houses with lights for Eid. This should definitely be a thing. Agree. 

I don't care if it's make believe. Aisa koi bazaar nahi hota. #PartyPooper
Gahhh again with the dupatta dragging. 

Totally platonic cousin stuff happening.

More proof about how awesome Irtiza is. *eyeroll*

Flame throwers, synchronized dancing...koun apni jawaan cousin ko beech bazaar, aisay kaproon mein naachnei ki ijazat deita hei? I still don't care if it's make believe. Hmph.

I guess the makers of this masterpiece thought the audience was stupid, because we needed this baarish dream sequence to further prove Saba is in love with Irtiza.

IS DADI BLIND? Don't dadis have this built in young love sensor? Shouldn't she be giving lectures to Javaid Sheikh about how Saba is of marriageable age and jawan lardkion ka is tarhaan cousins ke saath betakaluf hona theek nahi? LOG KYA KAHEGE?

Your creepy cousin gives you a creepy smile when he catches you dancing and you smile in return. 

Holy mother of dramas...Put on those seat belts, readers. This is going to be one bumpy ride.

Until next episode...peace out!

Drama Update -- September 2016

Woohoo! As promised, I've put together an update *yay!* Sorry it took longer than a week *boo!* This update I'm writing about dramas that I just started (caught up with) and didn't include in my review last time.


Besharam

Besharam is delivering drama entertainment on an awesome level! It takes a bit getting used to, convincing yourself that a nobody wannabe politician manages to marry Pakistan's top model on a TV show, but once you get over that "small" premise issue of the drama, you're in for a love story that keeps on winning! Saba Qamar and Zahid Ahmed both shine and you find yourself rooting for their marriage to work. Also, I feel like I owe everyone an apology. After the amazingly horrible Sangat, I expected the second project with these two to be just as bad. Lucky for us all this didn't happen...so, yay!
Highlight - The romance between the lead couple will leave you with butterflies in your stomach. The Notebook doesn't hold a candle to this drama!
Lowlight - For some reason, I find the OST of this drama very misplaced. It's a pretty well paced drama, and the highly colorful roles (a super model and a wannabe politician) makes me want a more upbeat number.


Be Aib

Since you pretty much know what's going to happen if you've seen any of the promos for this drama, it's annoying af that we're having to sit through 7, going on 8, episodes for the drama to get to a place where you don't know what's going to happen (based on the promos). Having said that, it's not as absurd as Man Mayal, so now that I'm 8 episodes in, I'm sticking with it until it goes south.

Highlight - Alishba Yousuf is in it. Since she doesn't do many projects, and she's cute as a button, I'm hoping there was a reason why she chose to do this one. 

Lowlight - The OST is the most annoying OST in the histories of OSTs. Koi yahaan be aib nahiiii. Shoot me now. Grrrrrrr.

Dhaani

Only in a Geo drama does the hero fall for the heroine when she eggs his luxury car. As a rule of thumb, I avoid Geo dramas because they're always leagues ahead of the other channels when it comes to absurd (Point in case: Aasmano Pe Likha and Do Qadam Dur Thay), so I pretty much knew what I was getting into when I tuned into this drama. It's my current guilty pleasure and I don't think I should have to apologize for it lol.

Highlight - The OST is amazing. And the drama stars Sami Khan, who I might have a secret soft spot for. Also, watching Ayesha-miss-bright-karain-Sana playing his mom is kind of a joke within itself. 

Lowlight - The plot is same-old, same-old as are the cliches about the rich and poor classes. I wouldn't recommend this drama if you're looking for anything more than an amusing time-pass. 

Sange Mar Mar

I started watching this after reading a couple of good reviews on the first episodes and delivering on that, the drama did manage to capture my interest. For the life of me, I can't remember anyone's name - everyone's a Lala or a Gul Khan.

Highlight - The unique setting of the drama makes it a fresh watch after all the city-based, ameer vs. ghareeb stories on TV. And there are just so many luscious yet-to-be-revealed secrets!

Lowlight - Please correct me if I'm wrong, BUT DON'T ALL THE WOMEN LOOK THE SAME?! There are three women, five if you count the two bhabis, that are all these gori, slender, beings with silky straight hair plaited down their backs. Honestly, I can't tell one from the other. I wonder which episode I'll lose the plot on because I don't know which girl is which. Lol. 

As far as I'm concerned, the worst part about Eid is that networks halt the currently aired dramas to air crappy Eid teleplays about love stories that somehow involve a bakra or two. If you ask me, it's a testament to our patience that helps us get through waiting an entire extra week to get our drama fix!

That concludes our wrap up of what we're watching...anyone watching (recommending) Saye Dewar Bhi Nahi? Or is that (already) a lost cause? 

Drama Update -- August 2016

Good lord - how did we manage to neglect the blog so bad? My heartfelt apologies to everyone who has been so patient with us! Thank you for STILL stopping by - I promise there will be (by hook or by crook) a new post up this week! But for now, let me go ahead and post an incomplete-but-now-complete post that I started in June. (I know, I know - beghairti ki inteha. Tauba!) Of course since I did it in June, I had to do over any reviews I had changed since then...so the opinions are totally up to date.

Honestly, I didn't watch any dramas for a month (month and a half? Two months?) and then spent a week, right before Ramadan and well into Ramadan, binge watching them. And then I got caught up with summer vacations and travelling and spent the last week catching up, so I haven't completely caught up with some dramas that were on my to watch list. (Which is good because I just promised yall another post within the week so...)

A lot of the dramas I was watching came to an end -- Naraaz, Sehra Mein Safar, Abro, Tere Mere Beech, Bay Qasoor. The last four of those were all the good vs. evil type but for some reason while the dramas managed to deliver on the evil, they didn't manage to satisfy on evil getting a taste of their own medicine. So that was kind of a bummer. 

At any rate, here's the rest of what I missed and caught up on...

Aap Ke Liye

I kinda like this, so far. It's another one of those poor girl marries rich guy stories (which I'm a sucker for) and if you don't watch the OST, you can convince yourself that the drama will play out like an epic Barbara Sharif Bollywood movie - you know, where she gets married to the guy and then evil saas aur nandoon ki akal thikanay karti hei in the most hilarious way possible.
Highlight - The fact that the hero and heroine are years apart is a part of the story, so it doesn't gross you out as much as it should. Arij Fatima plays the smart mouthed/borderline annoying Washma effortlessly. It's a breath of fresh air to see Waseem Abbass playing a slimey old lech instead of the evil/worthless ghareeb lardkion ka baap.
Lowlight - The actress playing the younger sister, whose storyline no one (i.e. me) gives two cents about.

Dil Lagi

I know I said I wasn't too thrilled with this drama in the beginning, but it finally won me over (matlab, with only two episodes, one would hope so!). Anmol is blinded by misunderstandings and anger and she's gonna regret her hurtful actions. Mohid couldn't be more of a picture perfect Prince Charming if he tried, but Anmol manages to (kind of) bring him to a breaking point. Shit hits the fan, ladies and gentlemen, but luckily gets resolved instantaneously (speaking when you compare it in in drama time). I love how Anmol's mom, sister, mother-in-law and nand are all actually trying to help her and not appearing and disappearing from the screen as a bunch of the writer's after-thoughts. 

Highlight - Imran Ashraf is hilarious as Mohid's sidekick and the comic relief and his love story with Anmol's sister is sweet and cute. He's an absolute treat to watch.

Lowlight - Can. Not. Stand. Mehwish. Hayat. Ufffff... And quite frankly, I don't care how good of a reason Mohid had to slap Anmol, it's still abuse and it's still unacceptable. "I slapped her for her own good." Wow. *taalian*

Main Sitara 

This 60s based drama effortlessly took us to a time and place when Bollywood produced classics we still love today. It's easy to imagine the characters as a part of that era. Saba Qamar makes you fall in love with Surraya, and root for her when she grapples with becoming Sitara and staying loyal to the woman who helped her get there.
Highlights - Everyone in their role shines. The casting in this drama -- wah. Dil khush hogaya!

Lowlights - ....and then there's Meera Ji, which is the only weak link. Her stilted - and unconvincing - dialogue delivery are an epicfail.

Note: Season Two is currently airing, but I haven't watched any episodes yet :(

Man Mayal

Well guys, Ayesha Khan finally made her appearance and it gives me immense joy to say, "I told you so." The drama has officially derailed and left us wanting to ask a million questions - why has the evil naukar become the most loyal naukar? Why is Salauddin so blind to Jeena and her maneuvers? Why is she living in his house?! Why is Manu such a door mat? The only character that makes sense is Mikael who has, at least, stayed true to his character. 

Highlight - Nothing. (Personal highlight: I managed to abandon ship like 10 episodes ago...really, I feel for everyone still watching this crap.)

Lowlight - Jeena calling Salauddin her "cutie patootie." My ears, they burn. Ayesha Khan is horribly miscast as Jeena. And Hamza Ali Abbassi's affected deep voice - I guess he's trying to portray how solemn/deep/sangeedah Salauddin is - is distracting and dumb. 

Mein Kaisay Kahoon

Honestly, I didn't bother to keep up with this. It started out cute enough, but it dragged on and on and on and I didn't feel like wasting my life to catch up. But I heard it ended well...so...if you watched it, picture me giving you a high five ;)

Mera Yaar Mila De

This drama - regardless of its many many plot holes, is my favorite mistake. It's filmy, it's fun, it's easy to watch. It also reminds me more and more of Salman Khan and Aishwarya Rai's Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam, except the heroine and Ajay Devgan actually had the decency to get married before he dragged her to Europe to find her one true love. I was all in for Mushq giving Fahad the "tum nei mujhe pyar kar na sikhaya, laykin Dabboo nei mujhe pyar nibhana sikhaya" speech, which didn't happen #Sad. But still, this drama was fun and filmy and I loved it....Hmm...I feel like I repeated myself there....

Highlight - Towards the end Striker gets limited screen time, but Sundus Tariq makes up for it as the talkative and bubbly Iqra. 

Downside - The younger sister's evil sister-in-law and her husband who can't stand up for her. I don't know why they needed this side story at all. Why didn't Zeba just get her happy ending?

Tum Koun Piya

I love Ayeza Khan, I like Imran Abbas, and I'm into cliched dramas about evil mother-in-laws, so this drama ranks pretty high on my watch list. The story flows effortlessly and even though it's predictable, I find myself won over and looking forward to each episode.
Highlight - Hina Bayat is off-the-charts convincing as the evil mil with double standards. Yasir Shoro is also killing it as the baighairat and gold-digging brother-in-law.

Lowlight - Sumbul and Ramish's relationship is a bit of a weak link, if you ask me. Sumbul seems too much of a strong and smart girl to let Ramish get away with the stuff that he does. (I'm glad she left.) Ramish's mom's wardrobe continues to distract.

Udaari 

Let's just cut to the chase - if you can only watch ONE drama airing right now, make it this one. The story, the lessons, the casting (for the most part), the acting, there is not a single thing that detracts from the awesomeness this drama brings to our screens every week. Ahsan Khan is easily the man of the hour - he should win every award possible for his amazing portrayal of the snake Imtiaz.

Highlight: To take such a sensitive topic and present it so flawlessly...I'm impressed beyond words. Bravo Team Udaari!

Lowlight: Farhan Saeed, as the arrogant band vocalist turned lawyer, is probably the weakest link amongst the players of the drama. 

Zindagi Tujh Ko Jiya (aka 100 Din Ki Kahani)

I haven't caught up with this either. I probably will though...eventually. I do know that it ran for a total of 60 episodes...#OneDay

So there you have it folks, dramas I watched, dramas I enjoyed, dramas I am rooting for, and dramas that I dropped. On my list now are Besharam, Saya E Dewar Bhi Nahi, BeAib, and maybe Intezaar and Dhaani (which airs on Geo and I haven't watched a single drama from Geo that wasn't totally blog worthy). I keep going back and forth on Zara Yaad Kar, but I think maybe it's just too far in to catch up with now, so it might just continue to be a miss as far as I'm concerned.

Thanks again for all your support and the kind words you've left while we were on our short hiatus! Hopefully, we'll continue to post more regularly now.

Happy watching!

Gul-e-Rana -- Last Episode

It took me four days to talk myself into watching the final episode of this drama, just so I could have closure. (While it took Shamsi only four days, i wasn't ready to face this piece of drama doody even after one week. But in the end i forced myself to watch it. You know what they say about ripping off a bandaid. Yeah i didn't do that. I watched it in several broken down parts which just increased my self inflicted torture.) Right off the bat, this drama does not (i.e. completely does) disappoint. Please see exhibit A...

I mean - seriously, Rana? What exactly do you expect Adeel to do? Woh bhi broken Adeel. But then the scene gets better...

I am totally judging GeR for not looking horrified and snatching her hand away from Adeels grasp while giving him a how dare you, I hate you and I'm leaving you speech.
And finally, the scene ends with this:

The only way I know that Sajal is feeling anything is thanks to the annoying background music - cos her expressionless face is giving away nothing. And the annoying music tells us that she's sad - WHY? She was the one who told him she's leaving, he's been a bigger jerk to her as a cripple than when he was a womanizing, misogynist, douche. And yet she's getting the fuzzy-feelies?

HE'S STILL ALIVE? I thought the unresponsiveness on the bus was like a done deal.
Yeah they saved all the annoying people till the end. 

Rana takes Adeel for a walk and Sajal Ali proves that the writers failed to make Rana beleiveable at all. One second she's starting off into space with wonder and grabbing on to Adeel with excitement (?) and the next she can't seem to handle a little water splash from her husband.

Yup. Looking like a hobo, Adeel office jaanay lagay hein. Maybe his dad demoted him after the Maria incident (remember that three episode saga??) to filling clerk. Or office show peice. 

As if Adeel and Rana weren't stressful enough to figure out (seriously, giving her a packet of money to undo all the mental abuse?), we have to watch these two: the cousin who refuses to die and the mother who refuses to make sense. Someone please ask Rubina Ashraf why she allowed herself to sign on to this project. 

Not sure what's the biggest issue here:

1 - Asher Bhai is STILL getting married? (Rana seems to think so)

2 - Rana is shopping for the wedding, because Murree is known for its malls and bazaars...

3 - Rana making more expressionless-expressions at Adeel acting like a normal human being. 

Asher Bhai, try not to die on Taya Abu's sofa. 

Lucky us - 26 minutes before the drama ends, Adeel manages to finally learn to respect his naukar. 

Oh look, one of Adeel's ex-skanks gets to make an appearance in the final episode too. This entire scene and her dialogue was just one contradiction after another. Did nobody actually read the script?

Really? It's all the phuppos' fault that you were a horrible human being? That's it? That's the big psychological insight as to why Adeel is such a douche? (Please, step aside while a punch my TV screen.)
I actually liked Rana's reasoning in this scene. It's not the wife's job to reform her husband. Especially one who forced her to marry him. So it makes sense why even after Adeel had reformed she wouldn't want to stay with him. Far too many dramas promote the ridiculous scenario where girls eventually forgive and even start to love the men who have ruined their lives for their own selfish motives. 

What is broken-reformed Adeel doing at (what appears to be) the party of the year? 

Men don't do this in real life. (sorry unmarried, dreaming-about-candle-light-dinner friends)

Asher Bhai (with only 12 minutes remaining in the drama) finally has the decency to die (let's not mention the horrible Rana flashback). I don't know who's more shaken at his death, Rana or Adeel?

Putting a hysterical wife on a plane by herself seems like a totally awesome idea. #ResponsibleHusbanding

Three months later, the drama spells out further proof that Adeel has reformed: look! He plays with galli kay bachay now! He gives other douchey husbands talks on how not to be douchey!

The next thing you know...we get a dream sequence...

And then BAM! A final shot of the two - still separated - Adeel and Rana...

Rana delivers the most obnoxious rendition of Jack and Jill. And then cries for reasons only known to the writer. 

I guess I'd cry too if I had worked in such a crappy drama.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

I need a minute. (Or maybe a lifetime...?)

Where this should've been a simple love story about how the simple girl forced into marriage to a supposed douche and then helps him see the error of his ways and they live happily ever after, it turns into an un-understandable nightmare. They show Adeel as being a guy that's SO horrible, SO abusive, SO womanizing, that even after he barely survives his accident, he fails to convince us (well, primarily that he's hurt at all #BadActing) how he finally reforms. The other big issue, is that because he is SO bad, it made it impossible to create even a chance that Rana would forgive him. 

Let's look at it numerically: 18 episodes to establish he's a Jerkface. 2 episodes to leave him crippled. 1 episode (or maybe 3/4 of one because they had to show Asher Bhai dying for about a quarter of the episode) to try to reform him. Come on. That's absurd. 

To add insult to injury, Adeel dumps the blame on the phuppos and that's that. And where are the said phuppos in the final few episodes? And how about their progeny? Where is Adeel's dad? His mom? Where is Rana's khala, as her son lays dying? What was the point of all this extended family? They really contributed nothing to the story, besides providing incomplete storylines to extend the drama for a few episodes.
Halfway through the episode I had to stop and watch Tahir Shah's new video. Which made me realise that even Tahir Shah emotes better than all the actors in this episode. Which is why I'm leaving you with this. 

RIP Gul E Rana. You will not be missed.